If you’re an optimistic person, it’s possible that you’re part of the problem. We often feel like being positive and having the right mindset is an imperative part of happiness, but this book introduces the counterintuitive idea that there can indeed be too much of a good thing. When you always frame moments in the positive, you don’t allow space for reality or the upside of negative thoughts:
Toxic positivity is the advice we might technically want to integrate but are incapable of processing at the moment. Instead, it typically leaves us feeling silenced, judged, and misunderstood … somewhere along the way, we constructed this idea that being a “positive person” means you’re a robot who has to see the good in literally everything. We force positivity on ourselves because society tells us to, and anything less is a personal failure. Negativity is seen as the enemy, and we chastise ourselves and the people around us when they succumb to it. If you’re not positive, you’re simply not trying hard enough. If you’re not positive, you’re a drag to be around. Healthy positivity means making space for both reality and hope. Toxic positivity denies an emotion and forces us to suppress it.
As the author argues, sometimes toxic positivity just manifests as denial, and you end up failing to face the world as it is. The solution may be to abandon the always positive mindset and instead allow for a wider range of emotions. Too much negativity or too much positivity can both be toxic. This book is an essential guide for how any of us can be a better person, parent, friend or colleague by allowing more space for reality … even when it may not be so positive.
About the Non-Obvious Book Selection of the Week:
Every week I share a new “non-obvious” book selection. Titles featured here may be new or classic books, but the date of publication doesn’t really matter. My goal is to elevate great reads that you might have otherwise missed.